An Iowa judge will use the “best interest of the child” standard when determining how parenting time is allocated after a divorce. In some cases, a judge may make decisions that you don’t agree with, such as being declared a noncustodial parent. However, it’s important to put your own feelings aside and do whatever it takes to help your children adjust to life after a divorce.
Don’t say anything negative about your former partner
While you may have negative feelings toward your former spouse, it is never a good idea to express them around your child. Doing so could undermine the other parent’s ability to effectively raise your son or daughter. Furthermore, it could make your child feel as if he or she needs to choose one parent over the other. There is also a chance that your negativity could strain the relationship that you have with your son or daughter.
Don’t blame your child
It may be true that the stress of having a child permanently damaged the relationship that you had with your spouse. However, it is important that you don’t blame your son or daughter for what happened. This is mostly because it’s not his or her fault that your marriage came to an end. Furthermore, a child who doesn’t feel loved may have trouble in school, mental health issues or other problems that could linger into adulthood.
Spend time as a family whenever possible
It isn’t uncommon for former spouses to remain friends after a divorce. Generally speaking, it may be a good idea to maintain a cordial relationship with your former partner for the sake of your child. A family law attorney may recommend adding family dinners, movie nights or other events to a parenting plan.
If you share children with your former spouse, it’s important to do whatever it takes to help them thrive after a divorce. An attorney may be able to help you obtain custody, visitation or other rights of a son or daughter after your marriage comes to an end.